Advice help plz pregnant, 2 kids and hes walked out on me?

Just after some advice about my situation at the moment, my partner has walked out on me i am 6 months pregnant and have 2 sons all our children are his.


He has suddenly said that he doesnt love me anymore and hasnt done for a while, i havent noticed any changes in his actions etc... towards me he still told me he loved me etc.... but he says it was all a show. And has said he is fed up of the arguments that we have had ---- these were silly arguments over asking him to help out more as he didnt do anything to help out at home and didnt work.


We only split up on 6th and he is already seeing someone else.


I love him with all my heart and am completly heartbroken, i have done everything a woman could do for him and have bent over backwards to do everything he wanted etc.......


He has never left me before but has had 2 one night stands during our 9 year relationship.


He is still saying he wants to be friends for our kids etc.... but i cannot see how i can be when he's with someone i cannot see how i can be friends with someone i love and want to be with, when hes with someone else.


Plz help as i cannot see no way forwards at the moment, i am only 24 and have never had to live on my own etc.......... advice and plz be nice as im fragile at the momentAdvice help plz pregnant, 2 kids and hes walked out on me?
Ok. Give yourself one more night to sulk and then you must pull yourself up.





It's obvious to me that he knew this woman before he left you. Maybe he has been looking for a way out for a long time.





Tomorrow, you should start looking into how you will have money for the children. Don't think you are alone. This happens to Many, Many families. He's no good, even if you love him. He's just not.





You will have to go to court and he will have to pay a decent child support payment and alimony to you to raise the family. This will help you to get by.





If that isn't enough, you're now able to get government assistance to pay your bills, buy food, clothing, and maybe a car, if you need it. You paid taxes all this time so don't feel ashamed. You need the help. Every little bit helps.





I'm very sorry this has happened to you. You seem like a caring person who doesn't deserve it.





Just please don't get into the loop of taking the jerk back. It's bad enough you have to learn to survive and know he's living it up with another woman. He can't be given the chance to do this again to the family.Advice help plz pregnant, 2 kids and hes walked out on me?
im sorry to say but it sounds like your partner was seeing this woman before he found out you were pregnant and was just using the argument thing as an excuse! hes not a man doing this and i feel so sorry for you at the moment but you cant make somebody stay with you, hell probably come grovelling back in a few months but its up to you if you take him back, youve got to be strong and have plenty of people round you like your family and friends
My guess is that he was seeing the new girlfriend before he left you. In fact, that's probably WHY he left you.





The first thing you need to do is see a lawyer. He should be paying child support for those children. It doesn't matter whether he works or not. If he's able bodied and just lazy, that's no excuse for his kids to not eat. At any rate, you definitely need legal advice at this point.





Secondly, get some counseling to help you with your feelings and to sort out your options. Your local mental health center will be able to provide counseling on a sliding scale fee or possibly for free if you qualify.





Losing a man who cheats, won't work, won't help out around the house and walks out on his pregnant wife does not seem like a loss at all and my guess is that you'll come to see it that way eventually. Right now, your hormones are all jacked up because of the pregnancy.





Get counseling and get legal advice now!
I feel for you soooo much. i have just been through a similar situation. I found out my husband was having an affair and he left me i ve got 2 children. Anyway to cut a long story short i always swore that if he ever did that to me i would never take him back, that is so easy to say until you are in that situation. I took him back and 2 days later i found out i was pregnant ( i have been on the pill injection for 5 years so this was totally unexpected and could nt of happened at a worse time) Never the less i ve kept the baby but with raging hormones its not very easy to forgive him. I hope your husband will soon realise what he is missing and everything you do for him. They think the grass is always greener ( it Never is) but i would hold out until he is on his hands and knees begging for mercy and just let him think you are quite capable of coping on your own. I know inside you are dying and i know how much this hurts but please try and be strong and do what you feel is best for you and nobody else.
im trying to be nice, but please be awarethat if this man has someone else already then he was probably with her brofre he said bye to you.


just be a the best mother ever to your children as they are the most important part of your life right now. i know that you are strong enough to cope with this. this man seems like a right loser and you may be better off with out him.


the first thing that a person wants when they have splitwith someone is that person back. do not lower yourself to his standards. get on with your life. there are men out there who will want you. just concentrate on your kids and un born child and give them the best life ever. as each day passes you will learn to be mates with this man only and any feelings you have now will disappear. its scary but possible. your friends and family will help. all you need to do is ask. i wish you allthe best for the future and for your children too
Sweetie I am a 32 yr. old mom of 4. I had to do it alone with my kids. However it gets easier as time goes by. It may seem right now there is nothing to look forward to but I can assure you those kids need you to be their rock. They are going to be the ones to suffer in the end. Put all your focus into those kids and decorating that baby room. He is sorry to walk out on you right now to begin with. You should have been the focus and not his selfish needs. I know you love him and you may for a long time however he is being selfish and you and those kids should have been the biggest part of his life. You have kids together and I know it is not good for kids to go through this. I was told by my deacon that if anything you need to work it out for the kids. He was right. They need not only you but their dad too. I understand you are hurting right now but honesty is key here. You are pregnant,he is gone. He should have been there for you even if just for a bit. My heart goes out to you. I will keep you in my prayers because God does not want this for you. He wants fathers and mothers to be together as one. God bless you my dear.
you are better off without that #$%#$#@.....take him to court and suck him DRY!!!!... go after the maximum child support....get a really ruthless lawyer.....
I'm so sorry that you're going through this heartache. It's only compounded by the fact that you will soon have 3 little children to care for. I wish I could tell you that there was some magical answer, but the truth is, there is not. It sounds as though this man isn't worthy of your love. I know that if you love him as you say you do, it's not exactly what you'd like to hear, but it's the truth. He's cheated on you more than once, and it sounds as though this new relationship he has isn't that ';new.'; The best thing you can do for yourself and for your children is to figure out a plan on how you'll support your family, and make sure that you have plenty of support yourself, either through family, friends, or community connections (church, care centers, etc.). You're young and have a wonderful life ahead of you, full of possibilities, if you'll just step up and out. Let him go. You can't make him love you the way you deserve to be loved - no one can. If you focus on who you are supposed to be as a person, growing in maturity, through trials, the right person for you will come along. It's not easy - it takes patience - but it's important for you to take the high road and to be an example to your children of what a good, honest, loving person is. They take all of their cues from you. Best of luck, and I'll be praying for you.
Well, if he's ';already w/ someone else'; more than likely he was w/ her before he actually told you he was calling it quits. He doesn't sound like he's been commited since you know of two ';one night stands'; (which only he knows the extent of that truth). If it really were just the silly arguments I would say that counseling would probably help a lot becuase silly arguments are often a couples inability to communicate and express themselves period or in a healthy way. He knows there's nothing there for him anymore and that he'd rather be free to do what he wants instead of sneaking around and coping w/ the responsibilities he took on that he didn't ever or doesn't want. You don't have to be friends with him, do what YOU want now. You've put up with enough or been through enough that now is the time to full stand up for your life and your kids and do what's best for you guys w/o any heed to what he wants or thinks. I can see that you might be afraid of not only being alone but of having to actually take care of yourself. Independence isn't a bad thing (scary sometimes, yes) but it's something everyone has to (or should) learn and once you ';get the hang of it'; it'll be natural and you'll even love it. So the thing is here- it's about you now, not him.
You say he is already with someone else, do you think he was already seeing her before he left you?.


How sad this is, what a time he picks to leave. It really shows what a weak man he is.


You are the strong one, so don't you be thinking you can't manage without him.


I think being friends with him is more than anyone could manage, so don't even try. Be civil for the sake of your children, be polite in front of the children,keep up appearances for them.


You will get through this, be strong, you are young.


I think like many men he fears the responsibility of 3 children, he is frightened of no longer being that fancy free young man.


He will probably never change.


he may come back to you after his fling, would you want him back?


What ever you decide don't let him have all his own way, would he be your friend if the boot was on the other foot.?


I really do wish you all the best, and I hope you have family around you to help at this time!!!!!
oh bless you i feel sorry for your predicament but this guy seems to be a loser get help from your local social security office right away be upright with them tell them everything get court injunctions against him and please get over him quickly yes i know it is hard but he has done this to you but do not make your kids hate him if they want to see him you should let them be strong and you will come through this a better person than he will ever hope to be ,be strong girl and good luck
HE's a loser...he didn't fall out of love with you...he met someone else. Move on...nail his *** for child support right away. Don't be silly...you can do this on your own..make sure that you have a family support system to help you out. He's not worth your love and affection.
Oh my god sweetie first of all, before I sent you this message I just prayed 4 U. U R definately going through some hard times right now. Second, let me say that he had some one before he even left, that's was probably the reason Y he left. He is probably confused as well. U never know who or what this next woman is about, or is putting in his ear. She could be someone that is the total opposite from U, and he wants 2 try it out. Not saying that it is right but hey, these men R really a trip these days! Turst me, I'm a living witness!! Third, what ever U do DONNOT hold those children away from him. U won't be hurting anybody but yourself anyway! They did not ask 2 B put in the middle of this. Also donnot show him your hurting, if he knows U well enough, he should already knw U R hurting. Right now at this minute STOP kissing his ***!Fourth, as a woman I know how it feels 2 give a man your all, and he give U his *** 2 kiss. But U can't change your heart. That is the type of person U R. I am 24 yrs old too %26amp; I am the same exact way!! You have 2 stay strong %26amp; pray, night and day. All U can do right now is stay calm, relax, try as hard as U can not 2 think about it. I know it is easier said than done but U have 2 stay strong 4 the child U R bearing %26amp; the ones U already have sweety. Okay, Damn, I'm crying right now and I don't even know you. I can really feel your pain. I know it hurts like hell! I'm so sorry!!!!!........... Do you work? I'm going 2 leave U my e-mail address so U can e-mail me if u want, I don't mind. I would love 2 offer U support. Somebody helped me when I went through it, and I feel like It is my duty 2 do the same 2 someone else who needs it. Stay strong sister!!!!!!!!! Peace and blessings





email address: nunny7@verizon.net
honey, been there and done that. he is already seeing someone else because he was seeing them before he told you. it does not JUST happen. that's a cop out exuse babydoll and don't buy it. the best thing for you now is to just let it go. I know, I know......easier said than done. not really honey. alot easier than you think right now because you're very distraught and upset and just don't know what you did or what happened, right? See, been there-done that. Most of us have by the time your my age. Honestly sweety, if he is the type to wait until you're 6 months pregnant and then walk out and IMMEDIATELY be with someone else AFTER having already been with 2 other women while you were together, then not only do you not need him, damn it-you don't WANT him. You've just never been alone before. and that's okay. we all have to do it at least once in our lives honey, it's how we grow and learn to depend on ourselves. You need to realize that you are and are worth so much more than someone like that. someone that would up and leave after saying nothing their 6 months pregnant wife.(or girlfriend) of course he didn't leave sooner, honey. You had him living the life of having his cake and eating it too. ..........and somebody else's cake along the way. trust me, one day very, very soon you will look at him in a whole new light. you need to realize that just because he's the dick that left DOES NOT mean it was because of you........it was most certainly cuz of him or he wouldn't have left anyway. you don't want someone like that to be with you cuz they will never actually be WITH you. I know you understand what that means. I hope for you........I hope that you will never forget that you are worth sooooo much more than you think right now. I hope for you and I truly hope this helps you be just a little ..............tougher. You can do it, honey. And never ever think otherwise.
if u can stay friends for children's sake they wont always be children they will always have memories if u can join some group talk to friend's and family children will get older u will have a life then he is not going to change
were you legally married? he cheated on you, so as long as he supports your kids, you might be better off without him. 3 kids and 24 years old?! good lord!
I will try to help answer your question. Try talking to him without the other female and without your kids. You need to talk to him in a quiet place. Tell him how you really feel. Try not to let your emotions get to you too much otherwise he will not talk to you or he might get mad at you. Just let him know how you really feel about him, then let him have a turn at talking.
I am so sorry. First get some counseling so that you have someone to talk to . You have to take care of yourself so you can have a healthy baby. Definitely accept any help that comes your way and hold him responsible for taking care of your kids financially and physically. Don't dwell on the fact that he left you. Sounds like he did you a favor.
I don't really know what to say. Just know that even if you love him, he's obviously not fit to be a father and doesn't give a crap that he just changed your life completely. You're a smart and strong woman, just keep a level head and use your common sense to figure out away around it. You're pregnant, and there is no way to go back. As for that jerk, just sue him for child support and forget him. God Bless. %26lt;3
Ok ,you need to kick this piece of garbage to the curb.you are having his 3rd, child !!! my heart breaks for women who stay in a relationship with men like this and continue to be treated like yesterday's junk. GET MAD, GET REAL MAD and show him what a loser he is.make sure you make him pay child support.


God bless you and your children.
have u ever watched a talk show where a guy is denying his kids or cheating on his spouse..........and all your thinkin is leave him ...he's no good....what a idiot...she's stupid for takin him back....Well TAKE UR Own ADVICE.....u will love again and seriously do you really think love is all bout fighting, denying that he loves u.. i know u have an idea of ur true love and if your imaginig it and what u have isnt it then move on ur kids will understand plus dont u want the best for ur kids..do u want them hearing u and their dad fight all the time or showing it's alright for a guy to cheat on someone and keep doin it..well its not because my mom is like that and its nothin u wanna be proud of hurting your kids like that. u will love again but if ur with the dad how can u find ur TRUE love..he doesnt have a job he cheats, he puts u down, u do everything for him, basically u were taking care of your kids by yourself and hello does he seem worth it....once a cheater always a cheater proven by him. set up some kind visitation thing if he wants to see the kids where u guys can not see each other have a friend drop the kids off or pick em up. but if he keeps on playin games with you sit em down and have conversation asking him what he really wants u or everyone else..will he treat u right get a job etc all the things a REAL MAN would do. Dont give him anytime to think any hesitation just means no and he will always be a jerk. if u wanna talk more just email me...hun he left u when he first cheated on u
It Will Be Hard, But You Can Do It!!!





Make Sure You Take Him To Court So You Get Full Custody And Him Partial... You Should Also Get Him To Pay Child Support Since You Will Have The Kids Full Time





Good Luck :)
After he had the FIRST one night stand you should have left him. Obviously he doesn't love you or respect so, you should have seen this coming. I'm sorry sweetie but it's your own fault for staying with such an ****hole. I suggest you be happy that you have your 3 wonderful babies and move on with your life, for their sake as well as yours.





Don't forget to get him for child support
you will be better off without him. you don't need that stress. take him to court for child support. and move on with your life. you are still young and he don't seem like he is the one for you, you can do better.
Oh boy. This is a tricky one. Look first of all, don't try to solve all problems at once. Priorities is the name of the game. allthough you probably feel that the biggest problem is how to bring him back, we all know that you can't really get people to do what you want them to do. also there is really not much point , even if you could, since this would only be of any real value if they do it out of free choice. If he has behaved in this way, don't forget that the reason is...that he wanted to. So. Your priority at this moment is only you. If you can find a way to be reasonably well, then you can also look after your baby and your two sons.





take one step at a time. Don't try to persuade him. It's of no use. Quite frankly he has behaved very badly considering what a difficult time it is for you.


try to make sure you have what you need to be alright and able to look after your children.


ONE STEP AT A TIME!!!!!!


1. Talk to him , not about getting back, but very calmly, make sure he understands his responsibilities. Don't get into a fight, it will only make things worse for the future. Don't play any of the ';games '; you used to play. In order to break out of a pattern, you heve to leave the game. Also , if you are calm and collected, he will think higher of you. (Not that that realy matters what a guy like that thinks of anyone) Anyway.


2 Then , if he doesn't live up to his financial responsibilities (give him a little time) seek advice at social services. Know your rights and get all the possible help you can get.


3 don't be ashamed to ask friend or family for help. But make sure your focus is on yourself and your children , not on him. people are more likely to help a person who has decided to be strong and serious . remember they are not in love with the guy, and seeing how he has behaved , will see him very clearly fir what he is. They are not blinded.f they sense that you are trying to pritect him (Remember your priorities!!!) tehy will soon think that you had it coming.





Don't feel sorry for yourself, you cant' afford to . Focus on the good things in your life, although they might not seem very many at the moment. focus on your kids. Think for a moment that things could be worse. you could be ill, for instance. Make sure you don't get ill. your kids need you. Fortunately you are very young, which means you have all your life in front of you and you are still strong. Believe me, sometimes we really fall in love with the wrong guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!


All my love. take good care of yourself
My husband and I got divorced while I was pregnant with a five yr. old and I had no job. So I will be as gentle as I can .


My ex-husband did practically the same thing. The only difference was when we split he drove me to the walfare dept. and told me to get what I could cause he wasn't paying for nothing. I got on housing and stayed with my sis. in the mean time. I know exactly how you feel. You feel like you whole world is caving in. I called and called himbegged for him to take me back . I told him that I didn't want our son living this way in a skanky apartment complex, but he refused and I don't know something just clicked and like that I was over him. I knew at that moment that he didn't love me and never did. He didn't love our children enough to pay child support so they could have Christmas. The whole time he lied to my family and drove us completely apart (i refuse to talk to my oldest bro. still to this day) He went and told my family that the baby I was carrying was not his and that I cheated on him. In fact it was the other way around . He had another girl pregnant (she lost it) and there was never any chance that my duaghter wasn't his.The paternity test proved it. My family didn't care so I truly I am on my own...


I know now you are hurting, but don't sleep with him ever again. He WILL come crawling back as soon as the new **** realizes what a jerk he is.


Get all the money you can from him. Make up excuses even if you don;t need it now you will later. Do not take your name off of anything until you go to court.


Contact a lawyer and see what your legal options are.


You should be able to get child-supoort and alimony.


GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND GET AN EDUCATION! He / nobody will ever be able to take that away from you.


Above all else listen to children. Hug them as much as humanly possible. My son 5 @ the time of the divorce blames himself to this day and my daughter thinks her daddy left because she was born. Don't drag them into the middle. Never argue in front of them OK Time will heal the heart ache and you seem strong so I am sure you will make it .


Keep your head up %26amp; quit crying cause thats only going to make your children feel bad. Good luck!


ps you don't want to be friends with him because he is the one you are fixing to do battle with!
u kno wat u do u take care of them all by your self just to make him mad go to a lawer and give them a pleed. get some$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ from dat dicther